You know that moment when your world is about to implode?\u00a0 That moment where you have to face a truth so hard you know it will knock you on your ass and you feel sick inside?<\/p>\n
Yeah, I\u2019m there right now and as I turned back, it was all I could do to meet Mike Lewis\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 He used to like me.\u00a0 A lot.\u00a0 Hell, I spent more time at the Lewis place than my own because Mike loved music as much as me and Trevor did, and he let us play as long and as loud as we wanted to.<\/p>\n
Or I had. Past tense.<\/p>\n
God, everything was so screwed up.<\/p>\n
Trevor\u2019s dad is built like a Mack truck.\u00a0 He\u2019s six-foot-six with broad shoulders and arms that are covered in tattoos.\u00a0 His thick neck and square jaw are intimidating, but then so is the shaved head and bulging biceps.<\/p>\n
A sob sounded just behind him and I felt sick all over again at the sad, forlorn look in Trevor\u2019s mom\u2019s eyes. Brenda Lewis was about the same age as my mom, but she looked at least ten years older now.<\/p>\n
I guess not knowing if your kid is going to live will do that to you.<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you never to show your face here again,\u201d Mike said slowly, carefully<\/i>, as if he was talking to an idiot.\u00a0 Which, I guess he was.<\/p>\n
He took a step toward me and every muscle in my body ached with tension.\u00a0 My hands clenched and my chest tightened, and for one crazy second I wished he would just throw a punch.\u00a0 Just one, because I needed to hurt more than I already did.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad, leave him alone.\u00a0 He just wanted to see Trevor.\u201d Taylor tried to play nice but her father wasn\u2019t having any of it.\u00a0 His eyes narrowed as they left me and moved to his daughter.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou stay out of this. I\u2019ll deal with you at home.\u201d\u00a0 Mike\u2019s anger was so thick and strong I swear you could see it in the air.<\/p>\n
And I was choking on it. God was I choking on it.<\/p>\n
\u201cSir,\u201d I began, desperate to help, to do something, anything<\/i> to diffuse the situation.\u00a0 \u201cThis isn\u2019t Taylor\u2019s fault.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d he said slowly, the veins in his neck corded and sticking out like something bad was filling them up.\u00a0 Hatred, most likely.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is your fault, Nathan.\u00a0 All of it.\u201d He pointed down the hall.\u00a0 \u201cThe fact that my boy is in there, lying in a coma, fighting for his life, that\u2019s on you.\u201d\u00a0 He sucked in a huge breath like he was about to dive under water. \u201cThe fact that they had to cut into his skull so he didn\u2019t die, that<\/i> is on you.<\/p>\n
\u201cMike,\u201d Brenda said softly.<\/p>\n
I was aware that everyone was watching.\u00a0 The nurses.\u00a0 The patients.\u00a0 The doctors. The man in his bright pink pajamas over by the elevators. It seemed as if everyone had stopped doing whatever it is they\u2019d been doing and all eyes were on me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not going to tear him apart, honey,\u201d Mike replied. \u201cEven though I want to.\u00a0 But I\u2019m telling you this now, man to man.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to ever see you here again, got that?\u00a0 You nearly killed my son and as far as I\u2019m concerned your ass should be in jail.\u00a0 We all know the only reason you\u2019re not riding a bench in juvie is because your daddy\u2019s got the Mayor\u2019s ear and your uncle is an auxiliary officer in the Sheriff\u2019s department.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSir\u2026if I could trade places with Trevor I would.\u201d The words tumbled from my mouth and I stepped forward.<\/p>\n
He shook his head\u2014a warning\u2014and I stopped.<\/p>\n
\u201cI trusted you, Nathan.\u00a0 You were the responsible one and maybe I was wrong to do that, but\u2026I did and I can\u2019t have you here right now because I can\u2019t control the anger I feel.\u00a0 Trevor\u2019s fighting for his life because of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
His words ripped into me like a knife through bone.\u00a0 Every single one of them hurt.<\/p>\n
Mike slipped his hands around his wife and hugged her, motioning for Taylor to join them.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I\u2019m wrong to put this all on you but I can\u2019t help it. It\u2019s the way I feel and as much as the sight of you makes me sick,\u201d his voice was hoarse and he pointed down the hall. \u201cWhat you saw in there?\u00a0 My son hooked up to a bunch of machines and tubes?\u00a0 That isn\u2019t something I\u2019d wish on anyone, not even if they deserved it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr. Lewis turned away from me, but he paused before heading back to Trevor\u2019s room. \u201cI\u2019m going to let this one slide, but if I see you up here again, I won\u2019t be so accommodating.\u201d<\/p>\n
Taylor joined her parents and I watched until they disappeared into Trevor\u2019s room.\u00a0 Suddenly my insides twisted so much that I bent over, hands on my knees, eyes closed.\u00a0 If I didn\u2019t get my shit together I was going to be sick or I was gonna pass out.<\/p>\n
A minute passed.\u00a0 Maybe more.\u00a0 And when I finally opened my eyes again, I saw mint green toes.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, you win.\u201d<\/p>\n
Slowly I straightened, my stomach recoiling but strong enough that I knew I wasn\u2019t going to puke. \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n
Monroe nodded and grabbed my hand, forcing me toward the elevators.<\/p>\n
\u201cYep,\u201d she said as she pressed the lobby button. \u201cYou\u2019re officially the most pathetic person I know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat. Thanks for that,\u201d I retorted sarcastically.\u00a0 Who the heck was she to talk like she knew what I was going through?\u00a0 As if she knew what it felt like to nearly die from regret and remorse and guilt?<\/p>\n
\u201cJust so you know, all it takes is one mistake to claim the crown so watch out,\u201d I snapped.<\/p>\n
The doors slid open and we stepped inside.\u00a0 Once they were closed, Monroe glanced up at me, her eyes huge and glassy. Her chest rose and fell, her lips were parted and I smelled that summer scent again.<\/p>\n
She held my gaze until the elevator doors slid open again and then she whispered, so softly that I barely heard, \u00a0\u201cAt least your mistake is still alive.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Nathan<\/p>\n
You know that moment when your world is about to implode?\u00a0 That moment where you have to face a truth so hard you know it will knock you on your ass and you feel sick inside?<\/p>\n